


Kevin Is Jealous

by PitsOfDisclaire



Category: The Book of Mormon - Parker/Stone/Lopez
Genre: Arnold is remarkably straight, But its only side churchtarts, Connor is oblivious and also gay, Fluff, Jealousy, Kevin is gay and a jealous hoe, M/M, Poptarts and Church are very gay, churchtarts, mcpriceley
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-22
Updated: 2017-06-22
Packaged: 2018-11-17 12:27:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11275320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PitsOfDisclaire/pseuds/PitsOfDisclaire
Summary: Kevin has a strange and unreasonable hatred for Elder Church's and Elder Thomas' new relationship. Arnold and Connor decide to do something about it.Based on an hc that Kevin is extremely jealous of Churchtarts





	1. Kevin is Jealous

Kevin Price was jealous.

It was a surprise when Elder Thomas and Elder Church announced that they were dating. They had been spending a lot of time with each other but everyone saw them as just really close friends. When they did come out however, everyone began to notice how much of a perfect match they were. Church was very quiet, he was also probably the strongest elder ( another thing Kevin was jealous of ) and he was the second tallest Elder. He seemed to be very protective of Thomas ( or ‘Poptarts’ as he prefers to go by ). Poptarts was pretty much the opposite to Church. He was loud, tiny and probably the weakest elder. But their personalities matched perfectly. They laughed at each others jokes, they smiled lovingly at each other and they held hands and cuddled. They were a perfect couple and Kevin hated it.

“Elder Price, do you have a problem with Elder Thomas and Elder Church?” 

Kevin had been zoning out and staring right at the couple who were pretending not to notice him. He turned around to an aggravated Elder McKinley.

“I..uhh, what'd you say, Elder McKinley?” he asked a little nervously. McKinley began to guide Kevin towards his office. Kevin was extremely confused as he did. McKinley closed the door behind him and he locked it. He turned around and looked sternly at Kevin.

“I said, do you have a problem with Elder Thomas and Elder Church?” he crossed his arms as he spoke. If he started to shoot lasers out of his eyes Kevin would not be surprised. McKinley looked furious.

“No? I don't really understand what you mean, Elder McKinley,”

“Price, you look at them like they're the worst people on the planet. But I noticed that this only started when they announced they were a couple,” he raised an eyebrow at him as he spoke. Kevin repeated what McKinley just said in his head. What could he possibly me- Oh.

“Oh. Oh! No, Elder McKinley don't worry I'm not homophobic,” and he was far from it. Kevin looked around the room for an excuse as to why he hated the couple so much “I'm just not used to them...making out and stuff right next to me,” Kevin lied. Well, it wasn't a total lie. It did make Kevin a little uncomfortable but that's not why they bothered him. But the lie seemed to have worked on McKinley.

“Oh, well then Price, I guess that makes sense,” his mood improved and he even smiled a little bit at Kevin. “If you want I could probably ask them to tone it down a little bit?”

“No, but thank you Elder. I'll just learn to get used to it,” 

They both gave a forced and awkward chuckle as they stood there looking at each other. McKinley was a good bit shorter than Kevin, maybe 4 inches? His hair reminded Kevin of tulips; the classic orange ones he had seen everywhere on a holiday in Amsterdam. He had these piercing blue eyes, almost like the colour of ice. But somehow they were still a vibrant and vivid blue. It was like they changed colour in a matter of seconds. Wait. Since when did Kevin look at his district leader's eyes so much? Kevin felt a blush creeping up his face and he sprung back to reality.

“E-elder..The umm door?” Kevin looked beyond McKinley as he spoke. It was a shame he did too. Maybe then he would've noticed the blush on his face.

“Oh right! Heh, sorry Ke-Elder Price,” McKinley quickly turned around and frantically unlocked the door and held it open for him. Just as Kevin was about to leave McKinley quickly put his hand on Kevin’s arm. “Price,” He said softly “I apologise for my..misunderstanding. It's just,” he stopped for a little bit as if he was considering what he wanted to say next. It was as if he changed his mind about something.“I just want everyone in this district to be happy and comfortable with who they are,” Kevin nodded in agreement and continued to make his way to the living area. He tried to recall what the heck just happened. 

Elder McKinley thought he was homophobic. Kevin tried not to laugh at that. Elder McKinley knows Kevin’s name. The thought of that sped up the beating of Kevin’s heart. He tried to get rid of that thought. ‘He probably knows everyone’s name. He probably slips up like that all the time,’ he thought to himself. But Kevin had never heard that happen before. ‘It was just because they were alone together,’. 

Kevin looked around and noticed that Poptarts and Church had gone outside. He could see them through the window. ‘just like how they're alone together,’ Kevin glanced at the door to McKinley’s office and then back to the couple outside. Hell, Kevin was jealous.


	2. Connor is Curious

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor and Arnold discuss what could possibly up with Kevin.

Elder McKinley sat there watching Elder Price, who was watching Elder Thomas and Elder Church. McKinley had noticed that Prices expression of hatred had faded long ago. But what was he feeling now? He looked uncomfortable definitely, just like he said a few days ago. But he also looked a little sad. Was everything okay with him? Elder McKinley sat there on the other side of the couch writing into his diary. Because yes, McKinley has a diary. It was a gift from Price to and a direct quote, ‘Help with the whole turning it off thing. If you don't want to say it you can still vent a little,’. Gosh Elder Price, eh screw it. Gosh Kevin was kind, even though he didn't like to show it. Kevin Price was everything. But right now McKinley or, Connor, just couldn't put his finger on what Kevin was right now. Connor decided to make a list.

•Remorse - But why would Kevin feel guilty?  
•Isolated - Maybe he feels left out?  
•Jealous - maybe he had a crush on one of them?

Connor stared at the sentence for a while. Kevin wasn't gay. Or maybe he was? There was that time they Connor caught Kevin watching him dance. That was normal. But what was a little strange was how Kevin immediately turned red and ran away. But maybe he was shy. There was also that time Connor had pulled him into his office to discuss the whole Elder Church and Poptarts situation. They just stood there, staring at each other. Well, Connor stared at Kevin anyway. But then again Kevin would have to have been staring back for Connor to look directly into his eyes.

Kevin had nice eyes. They were a dark brown which contrasted nicely with the white of his eye. Connor would pay anyone anything go look into his eyes for longer. 

Connor glanced at the list and back at Kevin. Jealousy made the most sense. It was as I Kevin was login for attention. But not attention from a group, attention from one individual ( or more, if Kevin was polyamorous that would be perfectly okay ).  
‘I could give him that kind of attention,’ Connor thought to himself. No. No Connor couldn't. Kevin doesn't like him in that way, he likes either Elder Church or Poptarts and that's that.

But it wasn't a terrible thought at least.

An idea struck Connor. He sat up and began to look for Kevin companion, best friend and their new prophet, Arnold Cunningham. He found him outside writing in Nabulungi’s typewriter. Connor sat down next to him.

“Elder Cunningham? I would like to speak to you. It's about Elder Price,” he stated as he sat down. Arnold probably knew what was happening.

“Oh..sure Elder McKinley!” Arnold put the typewriter aside. “What would you like to talk about?”

“Well, ever since Elder Church and...Poptarts got together, Price has been acting a little weirdly,”

“Oh! Don't you worry Elder McKinley. I can guarantee that Kevin is 100% not homophobic!” Arnold grinned widely at Connor.

“Oh, well I gathered that. But I think Elder Price might be jealous of them. What do you think?”

Arnold thought for a moment. “It does make a lot of sense actually. And Kevin did say that he had a crush on an Elder here,” Connor froze at that. Kevin had a crush on someone here? ‘Yeah that was your theory, dingus,’ he told himself. Still though, Kevin was not straight. Arnold continued. “So maybe it's either Church or Poptarts?” 

The next day Arnold and Connor decided to meet again to discuss Kevin situation.

“I just don't get it, why would Ke-Price have a crush on either of them?” Connor asked. Though he may have said that for different reasons Kevin just did not seem compatible with either of them.

“I have no clue McKins,” Arnold replied. Connor made a mental note to ban nicknames. Sorry Poptarts. “And you know his name?”

“Well yeah, you only call him by his first name. But as district leader I know everyone’s name,”  
Arnold beamed at him. “So then what's my name?” 

Connor nor furrowed his brows in confusion.  
“Arnold. But I would've known that anyway,”

“Oh yeah right,”

“Anyway! Let's start with Church why would Kevin have a crush on...James,”.

After writing the list the two looked over it.

Why:  
•likes the competition?  
•He's kinda hot? Buff you know. 

That last one was 100% Arnold.

Why Not:  
•Kind of Nervous  
•Kevin is too randomly aggressive  
•Kevin is also very loud which James hates.  
•James always beats him at connect 4.  
•Too tall, Kevin looks like he'd prefer shorter guys.

Connor may or may not have written that last one. The list for Poptarts was a little better.

Why:  
•Short  
•Also good looking.  
•More energetic.

Why not:  
•Kevin could accidentally stand on him  
•too hyper   
•Seriously he's like a tiny child  
•Kevin hates children   
•Kevin doesn't like Poptarts, it would just never work.  
•Kevin once said that he was always afraid that he'd make PT cry.

The pair stared at the list. Kevin was completely not right for either of them.

“That doesn't stop him from having a crush on either of them though does it?” Connor asked after a block of silence. “I mean, people have bad crushes all the time,”

“Maybe,” 

“But what do you think we should do?”

“Hey, don't ask me McKinny. You're district leader, you make the decisions here,”

“Please don't call me that. And well, if it's just an ordinary crush then it'll pass, right?” 

“Yeah probably,” Arnold stood up. “Anyway I'm going to visit Nababooby so, see ya!” And with that, Arnold left.

Connor read over the list again. It just didn't make sense. Maybe it was just because they were Gay? It wasn't an uncommon thing to happen. Kevin Price, who just has just discovered that he's gay, flocks to the nearest gay. ‘Then why not me?’ Connor asked himself. ‘Because you're still in the closest and he simply doesn't like you that way,’ another thought replied.

Connor made a mental note: Crushes are the worst.


	3. Kevin Is Besotted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woops I left in a few typos. I also added a small tiny paragraph at the end!

Kevin sat at the kitchen table staring off into space, again. At least it wasn't at anyone in particular this time. The other elders hadn't really noticed all that much and were having a great conversation. That was until of course, gravity acted against Kevin and his face smacked down into his plate. Poptarts yelped, Arnold was laughing hysterically, Elder Michaels was scolding Arnold and the rest looked extremely confused. Connor however was the only one who actually thought to help Kevin.

“Elder Price! Are you okay?”

Kevin lifted his face slowly, bits of food were stuck to his face. He turned and looked at McKinley groggily. He nodded.

“Just tired,” he answered.

“Are you sure?” Connor asked next. Kevin really wasn't in the mood to talk at that moment. 

“Extremely, Elder McKinley,” Kevin spoke through gritted teeth as he stood up, casually ignoring the other Elders’ expressions and Arnold wheezing.

All week Kevin had been distancing himself from the group because all week he had been experiencing hell dreams. It wasn't his fault that he was jealous. He knew it was a sin but it was practically an emotion. It can't be controlled. Jealousy doesn't have to be as bad as it's made out to be he told himself. But Kevin was fine. He was able to power through it. He could do anything. Almost anything.

But that night Kevin probably had the worst one yet. Kevin Price didn't see himself as a sinner normally, but maybe deep down he did. Yes, he did swear a lot more than usual. Yes, he had doubts. Yes, he lied. Yes, he drank hot drinks. Yes, he had other thoughts and yes, he was jealous.

He sat on the doorstep of the mission hut. He wasn't crying, but he must've during his sleep. He didn't feel sad or guilty. But that was the problem. He couldn't feel at all. Finally all his sleepless nights had caught up to him. Kevin just sat there, staring off into the night. He wondered if the same thing would happen to him again like it did that morning. But that thought was interrupted by the door opening suddenly behind him. It was Elder McKinley, of course it was. He was probably the only Elder who knew how to actually care for someone. He looked absolutely terrified.

“Elder Price!” he quickly went and sat next to him. “What's bothering you?” he said quietly and almost desperately.

The question made Kevin think for a bit. It was obvious Kevin couldn't lie his way out of this one and he was too tired to even try. Instead he just leaned his head on Connor’s shoulder. Connor put a hand on his back and began to rub in circles. Kevin wasn't crying or at least he didn't feel like he was but Connor was murmuring little “Shhhhhs,” and “It's okays,”.

They stayed like that for a while. When Kevin calmed down a little he faced Connor. He took a deep breath and wiped his eyes. Maybe he was crying.

“Sorry, Elder McKinley,” he put on a fake smile as those words came out. Connor chose to ignore that for now.

“It's Connor,” he replied in a flat voice.

“What sorry?”

“Let me explain, You Kevin, me Connor,” Connor said with a little smirk. Kevin couldn't help but laugh a little. Thank god it was dark outside or else Connor would've noticed how red Kevin’s face went. “But Kevin,” he continued. “I can't help but wonder...Is this in anyway related to Elder Church and Elder Thomas?”

Kevin’s smile faded and he turned away a little. He hugged knees as he thought of a reply. But that thinking was interrupted by a hand on his.

“Kevin, you can talk to me. But you don't have to, okay sweetie?” Connor spoke in a mellow tone. Kevin thought about it for a bit. Connor was giving him the option to go, to act like nothing had happened. But then Kevin would be lying again and he'd probably get even more hell dreams. Or Kevin could stay and talk. Kevin didn't want to do either. He wanted, no, needed a compromise. But he wasn't getting one.

Kevin sighed. After a while of thinking he whispered, “I just want to be like them,”. This caught Connor off guard. Kevin continued, a little louder. “I want to have someone smile at me the way they smile at each other. I want someone to hold my hand,” Kevin definitely did not glance down at Connor’s hand which was still on his. “I want someone to kiss me, care for me and tell me everything is going to be okay,” 

Connor looked at him confusedly. Was that it? No, that's mean, people experience things differently. But still, was that it?

“Did the same thing happen when Arnold and Naba got together?” Connor asked.

“No,”. Kevin replied, a hint of frustration in his voice. He stood up and went back inside, leaving Connor there by himself. Why was Kevin mad? Connor hadn't done anything. There was no reason for Kevin to be mad at him. 

When Kevin woke up the next day he was surprised to find a book on his bedside table. He flicked through it but it was completely empty. He noticed that there was something written on a piece of paper on the floor. It read:

Sorry I wasn’t much of a help last night. But the diary you gave me has been helping a lot. So I decided to give you one!  
-Connor♡

A heart? A HEART? 'Relax, Kevin Elder McKinley is Elder McKinley he probably always signs things with a heart,' he told himself. 'No. Connor McKinley signs off with a heart,' Kevin was practically squealing.

Kevin was besotted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Besotted was the best word I could find to describe the feeling of a crush. It basically means infatuated but it's long lasting and head over heels in love.


	4. Connor is Elated

Kevin’s mood over the next few days had definitely improved. He could be seen on the couch writing in his new diary when he wasn't busy. Connor watched him fondly, it was nice to see something that he did have a positive effect. Connor wondered if Kevin felt the same. 

But Kevin was still distant. 

“Do you think he's homesick?” Connor asked Arnold. They were still aching to find out what exactly was up with Kevin. They were sat under a tree outside the mission hut, watching the other elders attempt to play soccer. 

“Nah, I don't think he even wants to go home to be honest,” Arnold said as he cleaned his glasses. “But it's weird to see him like this,”

“He was having Hell dreams. Did you know that?”

“Yeah,” Arnold looked down a little sadly. “I tried to help him but he didn't seem to want to talk me. Did he talk to you?” 

“Yeah sorta. He wasn't very specific though,”. Connor contemplated whether or not he should tell Arnold what Kevin said. Arnold was Kevin’s friend, but so was Connor and he felt like he'd be ‘disobeying’ him if he told him. He sighed and turned to face Arnold. “I asked him if it was about Elder Church and Poptarts-,”

“Churchtarts,” Arnold corrected.

“Yeah, he said that he wanted to be like them, to do what they do. What do you think that means?”

Arnold thought for a bit. “I think he's gay,”

“Well yeah, we knew that,”

“Then maybe he's afraid?”

“Afraid of being gay?” 

Arnold shrugged and nodded in response. where Connor had always thought that he and Kevin were polar opposites. But not in the way Kevin and Arnold were. Kevin and Arnold had clicked together perfectly. While Kevin used logic, Arnold used creativity. Kevin was often more pessimistic and Arnold was far more optimistic. They had the perfect bond. But the differences between Connor and Kevin always seemed blurred, like he couldn't put his fingers quite on it. Connor was optimistic but not in the same way Arnold was. Connor was also creative but again, not the same way Arnold was. But while Arnold boosted Kevin, Connor found ways to ground and calm Kevin. But maybe they weren't so different after all.

Connor and Kevin both seemed to suffer the most from Hell dreams, they both seemed to be pretty secretive, they both kept diaries ( gifted to each other ) and they were both, well… gay. 

Connor’s heart ached for Kevin. He thought back to the day that he told Kevin about him wanting everyone to be comfortable with who they were/are. He wondered if that added to how Kevin was feeling. Connor was brought back to reality by Arnold talking again.

“Maybe we should find out who his crush is and try and set them up!” He said joyfully.

Connor chuckled. “And make another list?” but Connor got out his diary anyway and went to a blank page. “So who should we start with?”

“Well we’ve already ruled out Church and Poptarts so let's start out with the obvious ones,”.

Soon the next 3 pages of Connor’s diary were full with lists of why and why not Kevin would have a crush on or be suited for some of the elders.

Arnold:  
Why?  
•Best Buddies!  
•Amazing  
•Sexy  
•Best sense of humour

Why Not?  
•Straight as Jesus   
•Neoplotian  
•Just buddies 

Neeley:  
Why?  
•Dark senses of humour  
•Both vaguely pissed off  
•Both like Coffee

Why not?  
•Too tall  
•just no

Schrader:  
Why?  
•

Why not?  
•HATES ANIMATED FILMS

Michaels  
Why?  
•Brother works in Disney

Why not?  
•Have they even spoken to each other?

Zelder  
Why?  
•Actually gets along well with Kevin   
•Makes the best breakfast

Why not?  
•too nerdy

Davis:  
Why?  
•Actually likes to play against Kevin  
•sometimes nice to Kevin  
•Good hair

Why not?  
•Amazing at football  
•Too nice  
•Has a girlfriend at home

“Hey well, that's everyone!” Connor exclaimed nervously. He didn't realise that he'd have to be on this list. Arnold raised an eyebrow at him and shrugged. Connor felt his face turn the brightest shade of red as Arnold took his diary and started writing.

When Arnold finished writing he set Connor’s diary down. And stood up.

“Well, I'm going to go and join in,” he gestured towards the soccer match that was still going on. “See ya Micks,”

Connor shook his head at the attempt of a nickname. But when he saw that Arnold was far away he reached for his diary and frantically looked for the page.

‘Connor♡’ 

Connor felt his heart speed up. It sped up even more when he realised there was no ‘Why Not’ list. But there wasn't a ‘why list’ either. There was just one line, written in Arnold’s messy handwriting. 

‘You're the only one he actually talks to,’

Surely one didn't have to talk to someone often to have a crush on them. But then again….No. Why would Kevin have a crush on Connor? ‘Because you listen,’ he answered. He doubted that voice, didn't everyone else listen to him? ‘Because you talk to him,’ he told himself. He guess he did seem to talk to him the most out of everyone besides Arnold. ‘Because you notice him, because you care,’ Connor tried to shut his brain up. His stomach felt like it had been tied in a knot, but his heart was doing backflips. He felt giddy and intoxicated but afraid and nervous.

Connor was...elated.


	5. Kevin is Determined

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kevin and Arnold discuss their feelings

Something changed between Connor and Kevin. Out of nowhere Connor just began to distance Kevin. No, Connor was busy doing paperwork, chores or hanging out with Poptarts. Kevin knew that none of this was true. 1. Connor had told Kevin that he had finished most of his paperwork for the rest of the month so if they needed to, they could talk anytime. 2. Everyone had access to the chore chart. Kevin was able to see what Connor was meant to be doing at all times. 3. Poptarts and Church still spent most of their time together and Connor was nowhere to be seen. 

“You okay, buddy?” Kevin looked over to see Arnold looking at him with a very worried look on his face. 

It was about 12pm and most of the elders decided to take a break. It was far too hot to work at this time of day.

“Oh yeah, I'm just...thinking,” it wasn't a lie.

“About…?” Kevin was both thankful and annoyed by Arnold’s honesty. He wanted to talk about it for course but no one wants to actually talk about these things. Kevin decided to change the topic. Slightly.

“Hey so, how...How did you know you liked Naba?”

Arnold smiled knowingly at Kevin. “Well buddy, I guess I found myself thinking about her a lot. Like, ‘oh wow I get to hang out with her today when will I get to hang with her again?’ Arnold chuckled and Kevin looked at him in a way that meant he was begging him to continue. “And when I was talking to her my heart felt really light and sometimes it was hard to see but that could've just been my glasses,”.

Kevin laughed awkwardly, he was too busy trying to process what Arnold was saying and his own thoughts. Those things that arnold said didn't apply exactly to Kevin but they were definitely similar. Just a few minutes ago Kevin was thinking about what lie Connor would tell to get out of hanging out with him. Which of course meant that Kevin wanted to hang out with Connor. Kevin couldn't deny that he felt bursts of excitement at the mention of Connor and it did feel like that the rest of the world just faded away when Kevin spoke to Connor. Fuck.

“Kevin? You've got a weird face,” 

Arnold woke Kevin from his daze. He laughed a little at Arnold’s comment but he stopped when he realised that Arnold looked genuinely worried. Kevin thought for a bit. Arnold was a good friend and a kind person. He could tell him right? They were in their room, the risk of anyone overhearing them was very low. 

“Actually Arnold? Remember when we first got here and Con-Elder McKinley told us about…” Kevin lowered his voice to a whisper. “..gay thoughts? What do you think about..Being gay?” 

Arnold smiled at Kevin reassuringly. “Haven't you read the book of Arnold? Jastra 4:20 clearly states that a person can love whoever they-,” 

Kevin cut Arnold off. “I'm gay? I mean, I'm gay! Oh my god I'm gay what do I do?” Kevin quickly grabbed Arnold’s arms and stared at him. “I'm so gay?” 

“Eh..um...buddy? What are you doing?” Arnold asked nervously. 

“What does this mean Arnold?!”

“I think it means you're gay?”

“What do you mean I'm gay?” Kevin stood up confused. Then he sat down on his bed again. “I'm gay,” he whispered to himself. 

Arnold watched as Kevin let out incoherent mumbles. “It's okay Kev, you can be gay,” Arnold got up and sat beside Kevin. “I'm here for you Buddy, through thick and thin. ‘Cause that's what friends do,”

Kevin reclined onto the bed cradling his head in his hands. “Thanks Arnold, you're a great dude,”. The pair sat there for a while, just enjoying each other’s silence. 

“So how did you know?” Arnold asked knowing full well how Kevin knew.

Now that Kevin knew Arnold was fine with Kevin being gay he was ready to just let it all out. Afterall, he listened to Arnold talk about Nabulungi non-stop. “Well, I guess I got kind of jealous of Elder Church and Elder Poptarts,”  
“Churchtarts and you don't say?” Arnold smirked at him.

“But I guess I sort of knew before? I think I might have a small crush on Elder McKinley?”  
Arnold squealed and Kevin sat up right promptly. “But I swear to god Arnold if you tell him or anyone else I will feed you to the lions. So anyway, remember when we first got here? I just saw him and I was like ‘wow he's cute’ but I brushed it off and thought nothing of it. But then, when he was showing us to our rooms he held my hand? And I felt all...tingly!”

“I'm pretty sure he flirted with you after that too,”

Kevin ignored Arnold. “And when I almost left I was sure he almost kissed me? And then I'm pretty sure I had a hell dream and he was there!” Kevin stopped himself from continuing. “let's just skip that part,” Arnold raised an eyebrow. “And one day he called me into his office and I think I caught him staring at me? Or maybe I was staring at him..,” Kevin trailed off.

“Wow, I sorta guessed you had a crush on him but I didn't know it was that big,”

“I said it was a small crush! And besides I don't think he likes me,”

“Kevin, Kevin, Kevin...Oh oblivious Kevin,” Arnold wrapped his arms around Kevin. “He's got it bad for you,”

“Really?” Kevin voice was small but hopeful.

“I literally just said he flirted with you. Plus I've seen the way he looks at you and talks to you. It's kind of obvious,” 

Kevin felt defeated. “Then why is he ignoring me?” If Connor did like Kevin so much then he wouldn't be doing this, right? 

Arnold’s heart ached for Kevin. “Young love,” he started.

“I'm nineteen,”

“I am aware. Young love is confusing and terrifying. And I'd imagine even more so when it goes against everything you've ever known. Elder McKinley is probably just as confused as you are. You need to confront him, buddy,”

“And what if he doesn't actually like me?”

“Wouldn't it be better to have some closure than tear yourself up over it for the rest of your life?” Arnold’s voice was surprisingly soft.  
Kevin hummed, content with what Arnold was saying. 

“I guess you're right. When did you get so good at relationships?”

“I'm in one Kevin. I kind of have to be,”

They both laughed a little and returned to a comfortable silence. Eventually Arnold left to hang out with Naba, and Kevin was left alone with his thoughts. As Connor reduced the communication between them Kevin’s crush grew. His heart yearned for Connor. He knew now where he stood and how he felt about things. But Connor seemed further than ever. Kevin could do something about it. Things would change.

Kevin was determined.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is like wa longer than the rest of the chapters but it is finally here! I think I'll be able to finish this in 2 more chapters!


	6. Connor is Humiliated

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor fucks up

“Elder McKinley? Are you in there?”

This voice was accompanied by a gentle knocking.

“It’s me, Elder Price, I was wondering if I could talk to you for a bit?”

Of course it had to be Kevin. Who else would it have been? Connor was spending most of his free time in his office, trying his best to avoid Kevin. Why was he avoiding Kevin in the first place? He asked himself. Arnold just comes up with the..bizarre idea that Kevin might actually like him back? Not back. Sure, Connor felt differently towards Kevin than he did to the rest of the Elders and maybe Connor did feel overjoyed when Arnold suggested that Kevin could like him too -not too. But then Connor thought about it. What would it be like for him, coming home to an already unaccepting family from a failed mission -sorry, not mission. “His chance of redemption,” as his father had said, with a boyfriend. Even worse, what would that mean for Kevin?

“Not now Elder Price. I’m busy.” Connor retorted. “Can’t we talk later?” 

“Umm..no actually. Unless you stop ignoring me of course,” Kevin replied, there was a great deal of anger in his voice, but it was mostly sadness.

Connor scoffed and shook his head, not that Kevin could see. “Elder Price,” He said sternly as he began to make his way towards the door. “I am not, ignoring you, emphasis on not,” Connor was about to open the door, but he hesitated. He’d soon learn that this was a mistake. He slumped against the door. “I’m just..” Connor’s voice grew quiet. “Busy, that’s all,” Connor lied.

There was no reply for a while and Connor worried about what was going on behind the door. He should’ve opened the door, let Kevin in and helped him.

“You said your door would always be open for me,” It pained Connor to hear how fed up Kevin sounded. Connor tried to reply but Kevin was ahead of him. “So why isn’t it open now?” It sounded like Kevin was talking to himself more than Connor. Connor finally mustered up the courage to open the door.

“Kevin,” Connor swung open the door. But no one was there. 

Connor closed the door again and sat behind his desk. What was he doing? Kevin didn’t deserve this. He cradled his head in his hands. Gosh, he was such an idiot.

Connor didn’t see Kevin or Arnold for the rest of the day. Not even at dinner. It wasn’t a surprise that Kevin would be upset. For days Kevin had been trying to talk to Connor and for days Connor had been ignoring him. “I’m working,” he’d say or “I promised Poptarts that I’d hang out with hi today,”. They were all blatant lies. It was far from fair. When you find out someone has a crush on you, more specifically the person you have a crush on, you don’t run away you run to them. 

“Just tell him,” Connor lifted his head to the sound of Poptarts’ voice. “It’s not that hard. How do you think I got with Elder Church?”

They were lounging on the couch with about 10 minutes until lights out. Somewhere between Poptarts gushing about Church, the person, Connor had let his own love life slip. 

“You’ve told me this before,” Connor started flatly. “You accidentally said you preferred him to Poptarts and then it spiralled downhill from there,”

“That was your fault by the way. And plus we didn’t start dating until like, a month after that,”

“Wait really? I thought you guys started dating straight after,” he shrugged. “You hugged him a lot..like way more than usual,” Connor enjoyed watching Poptarts turn pink. “The usual being an already excessive amount,”

“You’re getting off topic. It’s obvious that he likes you. Just kiss already!”

“It was obvious that you and Church liked each other for ages but you’ve only start kissing until recently!” Connor retorted, standing up. “It’s lights out anyway,”

“And besides,” he continued in a small voice. “I just can't go home with a boyfriend...And imagine what that would be like for him! He's a Price. The family of perfect Mormons who follow every single rule like their lives depend on it,” Poptarts refused to look at Connor as he spoke. Unfortunately, as he was rambling Connor didn't notice someone else enter the room. “I thought my family was bad, try to imagine what it's like being a Price!”

Connor was angry at himself. So what was the best thing to do? Rant about Kevin of course.

“So..This is all my fault then?”

Connor froze. And turned around slowly. Just to his luck, a disgruntled Kevin was standing behind him, now in front of him, and had heard every single word. Kevin was looking at the floor.

“You..You don't get to talk about my family like that…,” Kevin stated weakly.

Connor’s frustrated exterior crumbled. He tried to be gentle and sympathetic. “No, Kevin...I didn't mean it,”

Kevin locked eyes with Connor. Kevin was thoroughly pissed. “Then why the fuck would you say it then? What happened to, ‘O! Here everyone deserves a second chance as you should never judge a book by its cover?’”

“Don't quote me,” Connor said weakly.

“Oh don't you fucking act like I'm in the wrong McKinley. All week I've been trying to get to you. You wanna know why? Because I was planning to confess how I felt about you. But wait a second! I couldn't because someone kept fucking ignoring me. And now they have the audacity to blame it all on me by dragging my family into the dirt,”

Connor didn't reply, he was speechless. He had never seen Kevin so angry and upset before. If he could redo this entire week then he would in a heartbeat. But what's done is done.

“But Elder McKinley, this is all your fucking fault. And to think that I liked you! And I thought maybe..Just maybe you liked me too! But I guess not,” and with that Kevin stormed out of the room. Connor couldn't see the tears that had begun rolling down Kevin face, but it was obvious that they were there. Connor turned back around to face Poptarts, who just shook his head. Connor had definitely fucked up. 

Connor was humiliated.


	7. Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter....

Kevin didn’t sleep. Too much was on his mind but at the same time not enough. All that was on his mind was Connor. He sighed loudly, not worrying about whether it would wake his companion or not. Arnold was a heavy sleeper anyway. Kevin risked a glance at the clock. It read 01:02 meaning that Kevin had only been trying to sleep for an hour. Kevin was one of the few to have ditched the sleep regime. The other was Connor. But at least Kevin’s disregard for the rules was a choice. Connor would’ve been thankful to go to sleep at 10 pm and wake up at 6:30 am. 

Kevin heard a creaking like sound come from the back of the hut. The same distinct creaking noise that was only made by the old back door. He almost jumped out of his skin as he jumped out of bed to press himself against his bedroom door; to act as a barricade but also to listen. It was hard to hear but it sounded like whatever opened the door had either A. gone outside or B. was just the wind. He opened his door slowly as the back door closed. Gently, made his way down the hall, careful as to not disturb anyone else’s rest. He froze at the back door. He knew exactly what it was. But what if it had been a burglar or a lion or…okay it was definitely Connor. The boy Kevin loved so much but also hated just as much. He took a deep breath before opening the door and marching into the outdoors.

Lo and behold, a figure sat there, sniffling like they were trying their best not to cry. Or at least to not cry loudly. Yup, Connor.

Kevin carefully sat down next to him, unannounced.

“Hey,” he said softly with a long pause. “Is… everything alright?”

Connor shook his head. 

To help or not to help. Connor had been a full-on dick to Kevin. But, Kevin could at least understand why. Or he was pretty sure he did. Connor, according to Kevin, had lived pretty much the first 20 years of his life thinking who he was, was wrong. So, Connor tried to subdue that part of him. For the most part, it worked. But over time it became harder and harder to hide. Because something or someone was starting to lure out that side of Connor. The ‘wrong’ side of him. So, Connor did what Connor did best. Turn it off. This was the point when Kevin started to get pushed away and downright ignored. But Kevin kept trying to reach for that side of Connor. Every single time Kevin tried to get closer, Connor slammed another door in his face. But out of fear, not hatred.  
But Connor needed a better reason, a more understandable and less complicated excuse to be doing this to Kevin. Then came the rant. 

Kevin stopped. The rant…wasn’t exactly far from the truth. At all. 

Yes, it was a shitty thing for Connor to say but he had a fair point. Let’s just say, hypothetically, if Kevin and Connor were to go out. Their feelings for each other were mutual and they were happy and healthy. Now let’s say, they stayed together until the end of their mission. Neither one wanting to break up with the other so they don’t. Both fearing each other’s and their own home where would they go? What would they do?

“Go back to sleep. Rest, please,” Connor’s weak voice interrupted Kevin’s thinking. When Kevin made no move to get up Connor sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “Why did you even come out here? I was… horrible to you,”

Kevin watched Connor sadly. “Yeah… but, you looked like you needed someone to talk to,”

“What do you mean?” Connor turned his head to face Kevin, his face full of confusion. Just enough to match Kevin’s.

But all of Kevin’s confusion was replaced with worry when he saw Connor properly. His bright blue eyes were grey, the only light in them came from the moon. He thought back to when Connor locked him in his office. When Kevin first felt a spark between them. Back then Connor had these vivid, dreamy blue eyes. They made him look happy. Kevin felt his eyes wander over Connor, past and present. Back then his hair seemed fluffy and light but carefully slicked back out of his face. Now it just seemed dull and it was catching no light whatsoever. It almost completely covered his eyes and was a floppy mess. While it was once reminiscent of lively, orange tulips, now it reminded Kevin of wilting poppies. Every freckle was distorted by a tear, every inch of his skin seemed to be getting paler by the second. Connor didn’t look like Connor anymore.

“What I mean is,” Kevin started slowly. “You look…you don’t look like yourself anymore,”

Connor felt something in him flutter. Of course he had to fall absolutely head over heels in love with Kevin. Why had he no restraint? He thought he had all under control, but there was just something about Kevin that made him feel dizzy but in the best sort of way. He craved that dizziness day and night. But he couldn’t have it. 

Why not?

Because it was wrong in every kind of way. That’s what Connor had been told anyway, and that’s what he believed and preached to everyone else.

But why was it wrong?

That he never had the answer to. He had ideas but none made sense. At first, he thought it was a reproduction thing. But there were plenty of men and women in the world who were straight but couldn’t reproduce. Every other ‘explanation’ seemed stupid. The only reason Connor saw it as wrong was because everyone else did.

Except, Kevin.

Kevin, the kind boy who was running after Connor instead of away. The boy who was there for Connor, whether it was with the diary or after a hell dream. The boy Connor treated like garbage but was still here in front of him. The boy whose lips were far softer than Connor could have ever imagined.

Wait…

What?

Kevin sat there looking at Connor, waiting for a response. The other looked deep in thought. Even though Connor’s head was turned, Kevin recognised when Connor was caught off guard. Whenever someone said something out of the blue or something random happened suddenly Connor, or Elder McKinley would have to pause and assess the situation. It was always something Kevin found amusing. Elder McKinley practically had his entire life planned. Every move, sentence and feeling seemed to be expected. Maybe that’s why this week had been so hectic for him. McKinley always had a plan, but when things went wrong Connor was left to deal with the mess and come up with a solution.

Kevin was about to say something before Connor’s head snapped back around at to him. For a brief second, Connor looked like Connor again. Though the corner of his lips were curled down to make a frown, his eyes were filled with wonder and something Kevin had never seen before. Determination.

That second was ended when Kevin’s eyes fluttered shut as Connor lurched up and dragged Kevin down to press their lips together. Kevin felt light inside. Not light as in weightless but as in it felt like bright sparks of electricity were being blasted through his veins. He was ecstatic. 

He felt the lights inside him dim as Connor began to quickly pull away. Kevin reached his hand up and slowly moved it to the back of Connor’s head. He pulled Connor back into the kiss but Connor didn’t seem to mind. Connor began to kiss him more passionately than before. He gently cupped Kevin’s cheek and the other hand was resting lightly on Kevin’s knee.

Kevin’s lips were indeed much softer than he imagined. Connor felt that dizziness rush through him once again. He missed it so much. The world around them melted away into nothing. It was just Connor and Kevin now. And that’s all that mattered.

Simultaneously the two pulled away to catch their breath.

“Oh gosh, Kev I’m so sorry…about everything,” Connor said, panting slightly.

Kevin waved him off. “No, no it’s okay… that was incredible,”

“B-but I was terrible to you, I-,” Connor was silenced by Kevin bringing his finger to Connor’s lips and leaning in to shush him.

“It’s okay,” he whispered. “I understand. Trust me I do. The past is in the past, I’m here now,” He leaned up to give a starry-eyed Connor McKinley a gentle kiss on his forehead. “Let’s get some rest and we can talk about his tomorrow,”

Connor reluctantly nodded.

“I noticed that the couch was free... Just if you want to and don’t want to sleep alone,” he said shyly. Kevin stood up and extended his hands for Connor to take. Connor took them in his own and rose slowly only to quickly kiss the now flustered Kevin Price on the lips.

“I’d love that sweetie,”

Connor took Kevin’s hand and led him to the living room. Whatever happened, happened they decided. They slept peacefully on the couch, their bodies intertwined awkwardly but to them it was heaven.

No one woke them that morning. There was no reason to. No one was angry at the pair, no one thought they were wrong. In fact, most were happy that the tension was now finally over.

One thing was definite; Kevin and Connor were very much in love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for reading! To be honest I'm surprised that I actually managed to finish this and didn't feel that bad about it ( I always second guess myself ) Welp, thanks, y'all.


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